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  • Andrei Gheorghe, 38
  • Bucureşti, România
  • Work: Infineon Technologies
  • School: Fac. de Electronică şi Telecomunicaţii

 

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November 25, 2022 - 20:20

Adi

Cine mai explică acum că dacă nu egalau ecuadorienii, "olandejii" conduceau in c...

posted on “dacă nu egalau englezii, danezii ar fi condus în continuare”


June 20, 2022 - 20:18

Cătălina

Nişte angajaţi ai Urban Serv sunt foarte mândri de ei şi în ziua de astăzi pentr...

posted on mud


May 24, 2022 - 14:33

logical

există şi nişte bonus pack-uri în joc, dacă faci nişte achievementuri primeşti u...

posted on mai rapid ca rapidu


May 24, 2022 - 14:31

logical

regula de cinci secunde a devenit mult mai periculoasă de când cu pandemia... nu...

posted on curcubeie pe asfalt


May 24, 2022 - 14:27

logical

şi ca fun fact, nici măcar nu este primul chirurg din echipa Rapidului... am avu...

posted on te apără de goluri şi cardiace


May 24, 2022 - 14:25

logical

eu merg aproape sigur pe varianta b. pentru că e destul de uşor să verifici că a...

posted on achtung: se fură motoare maro cu jojă neagră


May 23, 2022 - 21:17

Specter

Am văzut şi eu trailerul mai demult. Chiar mă întrebam dacă au plătit redevenţă ...

posted on mai rapid ca rapidu


May 23, 2022 - 21:12

Specter

Toate ca toate, dar eu fără cartofi prăjiţi nu-mi fac transplant!

posted on 1+1 gratuit: Organe


May 23, 2022 - 21:09

Specter

Eh, când cei mai tineri fani ai Rapidului se apropie de 40 de ani, or fi zis şi ...

posted on te apără de goluri şi cardiace


May 23, 2022 - 21:05

Specter

Sunt două variante aici: a. Ei nici nu s-au gândit dacă o să meargă maşina aia ...

posted on achtung: se fură motoare maro cu jojă neagră


May 23, 2022 - 20:54

Specter

Oare regula de cinci secunde se aplică şi la compresor?

posted on curcubeie pe asfalt


April 2, 2022 - 13:48

logical

pare că nu...

posted on de la student la senior staff engineer


April 1, 2022 - 10:30

Adi

La multi ani? Mai primeşti ceva anul ăsta?

posted on de la student la senior staff engineer


February 22, 2022 - 12:18

Specter

Măcar nu au fost 18...

posted on i-a luminat farul


February 10, 2022 - 11:54

Specter

Scrie chiar de două ori! Oare a uitat că a scris prima oară, sau chiar l-a mai c...

posted on certitudinea marilor împliniri

   "Burn Bucharest, Burn You Fucking Maniacs" [Lake Of Tears, 11 Martie 2006]

fantasmic
fantasmic

pentru cei care mă tot întreabă care-s diferenţele dintre diferitele genuri de metal (remember i am a thrash metal fan):

The situation is the following – a beautiful princess is locked in a castle, guarded by a big bad dragon. How would the situation be solved according to the different musical styles?

Power Metal: Our Hero enters the scene riding a white unicorn. He flees from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

Heavy Metal: Our Hero enters the scene on a Harley Davidson, kills the Dragon, drinks some beer and fucks the princess.

Thrash Metal: The Hero fights the dragon, saves the princess and then fucks her.

Folk Metal: Our hero arrives with some friends who play accordion, violins, flutes and other strange instruments. The Dragon falls asleep (being tired after dancing etc.) Then they leave the castle all together... without the princess.

Viking Metal: Our Hero arrives on a drakkar. He kills the Dragon with his huge Axe and eats him. Then he rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and sets the castle afire before he walks away.

Death Metal: The Hero arrives and kills the Dragon. Then he fucks the princess and kills her too. Finally he steps away.

Black Metal: Our Hero arrives at midnight, kills the Dragon and impales him in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess and before he kills her, he drinks her blood in a ritual. Finally he impales her too next to the dragon.

Gore Metal: Our hero arrives, kills the Dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle. He fucks and then kills the princess. Then he fucks her corpse and eats her guts. Finally he fucks the cadaver for the third time, he burns it and fucks it again for the last time.

Grind Metal: Our Hero arrives and screams something no one is able to understand for about 2 minutes. Then he leaves.

Doom Metal: Our Hero arrives. He understands the Dragon is really huge for him to deal with, and thinks that he will never be able to beat him. He gets depressed and commits suicide. The Dragon eats his body and the Princess as a dessert. And this is the end of a very sad story.

Gothic Metal: The princess wearing a velvet dress sings like a soprano. Our Hero completes the duet as the “Beast” while the Dragon is playing the flute. Suddenly the Dragon swallows the flute and by mistake he spits a flame that burns the Beauty and the Beast while he dies from asphyxia. The three souls are condemned to hell for eternity.

Progressive Metal: Our Hero arrives with one guitar and he plays a 26-minute solo. The dragon finds it so boring that he commits suicide. The Hero enters the princess bedroom and he plays another solo with every technique he learned last year in music school. Finally the princess escapes searching for the Heavy Metal Hero.

Industrial Metal: Our German Hero arrives wearing a filthy coat and he insults the Dragon by extending his middle finger. Finally the bouncers throw him out of the Fairyland.

Technical Death Metal: Our Hero plays an extraordinary riff, changing between 11/16 and 13/16, with any possible way. The Dragon dies from a massive Brain Aneurysm. The princess enters a music college in order to understand what the hell our Hero played.

Speed Metal: Suddenly a short-time solo is filling the air... the Dragon gets confused. Someone is screaming strange things. The princess realizes she just lost her virginity. The Dragon and the princess are still searching for the guy who did that.

Christian Metal: Our Hero arrives straight from the church and sings a Power Metal ballad to the Dragon, telling him how much Jesus loves him, and that he should follow the path of God. The Dragon instantly becomes a Christian and when the princess is ready to thank the Hero, he tells her he is against premarital sex.

Glam Metal: Our Hero arrives. The Dragon laughs because of the Hero’s appearance, and lets him enter the castle. Our Hero steals the princess’ make-up and plans to paint the castle a wonderful pink color, while the princess wonders where all the men have gone?

Battle Metal: The Hero arrives with a legion of 100 brave soldiers and war machines. As a great military commander, he sieges the dragon for 6 hours before killing him. The princess is getting bored.

Nu Metal: Our Hero arrives with a damaged Honda Civic and tries to fight the Dragon, but unfortunately he dies after his ridiculous colorful wide clothes caught fire.

Symphonic Metal: Our Hero arrives with the Vienna Philharmonic and sings two arias. The Dragon loses his hearing and the princess is frying eggs.

Epic Metal: Our Hero arrives in shining armor and riding his own Dragon, kills the bad Dragon with a spear and saves the princess. Then he takes her to his own castle where they get married. And they lived happily ever after.

BONUS:

Epica: Suddenly, Simone Simons appears and the dragon can’t stop staring at her hair and cleavage. While he’s distracted, the rest of the band free the princess and run away.

photo credit: http://deskridge.deviantart.com

Tags: , ,

Monday January 21, 2013 - 22:39pm (EET)

Comments

(3 total) Post a Comment
Specter

I'm surprised there's no Metal Hero who fucks the Dragon...

Tuesday January 22, 2013 - 10:55am (EET) Comment Link

that would be a Tenacious D bonus...

Tuesday January 22, 2013 - 20:35pm (EET) Comment Link

mikel

ete aci si o varianta mai putin metaforica: http://mapofmetal.com (include muzica pe fundal - dreapta jos buton de pauzza)

Tuesday January 22, 2013 - 21:37pm (EET) Comment Link

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